just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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