That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
