My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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