i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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