Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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