I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
