just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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