I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
