there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize