p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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