I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
