and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
