i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
