i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
