He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Quick, to the slutcave!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Let's get the cat blown out
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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