Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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