Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
