i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
