Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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