I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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