She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
