the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
