sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
