Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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