Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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