I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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