when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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