I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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