dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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