the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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