It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
