we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
