oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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