Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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