I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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