Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
