are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
