Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
