Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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