You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
