idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
