my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
