his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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