I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
