you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Couch. On fire.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
