I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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