I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
