I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
