Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
