Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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