I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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