I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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