morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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