it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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