2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Randomize
