This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
