And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
