And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
