I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
