I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
