OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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