My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
