dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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