he puts the penis in happiness.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
